I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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