I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
