So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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