sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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