I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
