Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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