this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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