i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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