At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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