I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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