Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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