He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
