i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
