Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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