it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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