you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
