sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
