She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
