Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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