I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
