I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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