That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
