She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
