Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
