I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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