I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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