did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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