Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
