umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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