I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
