maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I want a musical about memes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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