he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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