So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize