so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You've changed since you got that strap on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
