Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Are we in a gay sports bar?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
