please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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