I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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