I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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