the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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