Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
