what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
