I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
