I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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