Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
