he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
