We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You're a waste of cheezeits
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
