I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
