he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
