yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
