garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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