it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize