i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
