Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
