xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
