Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
