Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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